a long post..

past 2 days i was on owl shift.. and things didn't seem quite well for me..

first nite, i was feeling bit unwell.. 3 of my patient's oxygen level dropped below normal range, which gimme quite a scare.. .. tried to calm them down and gave them oxygen , finally it slowly picked up...

2nd nite, before going to work , had a huge quarrel with hubby tan which end up him leaving me at the junction of the road, going to work myself.. didn't felt good... it's my fault anyway, don't wish to elaborate, at the same time, i had diarrhea 5 times.. and felt super bloated.. dunno wad's wrong.. ok. now jus when i thought that it's all over.

when i stepped into the ward, i guess, i've brought the negativity aura to the ward , i've not yet started shift, my pt's maid came running to me telling me that pt has difficulty breathing and is having cold sweats. so i asked my colleague to check his oxygen sats as i have to attend a short roll call..

when i came back, i saw them pushing the Emergency trolley .. and there's quite a bit of commotion going on.. went in and saw the pt, vomiting fresh bld.. eyes were rolling up.. and look as pale as sheet.. for a moment, i thought he's sure a goner...

however, praise the lord, he survived through my shift.. maybe waiting for me .. tonight, my last night..

strange as it can be.. life is jus like a thin thread, a moment ago, u r fine, then next moment, God decides ur time is up.. i'm going bring u away.. scary but true..



i have so many things to accomplish, that i dunno whether a lifetime will be enough for me.. i really wish i could travel round the world to see so many things.. i've come to a decision, hubby tan always asked me to try internet marketing which can really help me to earn some cash..
i really dunno how true it is, but sure there's live testimonials that i can see.. that is happening to his friends..

but i have least a bit of interest in it..

for the sake of doing the things i like, guess i'll have to .. u know, sacrifice.


i wanna travel to countries .. to see their cultures, to experience new things.. since i can't be a flight attendant, guess i've to find some other way..

i wanna learn how to drive, buy my own car, not necessary need to be a big car, jus a normal one will do.. so that i don't need to waste my money on Cab..

i wanna have my own room, own pink room, decorate myself, have my own shirts, dresses, cupboards, lingeries, not to share with my sis.. i really wanna have one, before i get married.. if not, i wouldn't have a chance to decorate my own little cosy shack.

i finish my degree.. specialise in probably, midwifery and paeds

i wanna bring my family. my granny esp. to travel, while she can.. i really love her alot as she's the only one who supports me when everything seems not to go my way...



so many things, so little time, so many aspirations, so little money..

is a lifetime enough for me?