torturous

past 1 week was mentally torturous for me. seriously.. for some private matters that ain't suppose to be shared with public..

so badly affected that i've lost some weight, felt super tired.. slept but dream of unecessary things..

i think of death and depressing things.. i just can't stop my mind from all these.. i dunno why. i really hate it cause it's so tiring thinking of things that is not yet happening..
It was suppose to be a happy weekend.. it's still happy .. for liwen and mei.. cos it's their birthday... i'm jus pretending to be happy temporary trying to forget the problems that i'm facing right now..

i really hope that everything will be just fine.. for both me and hubby tan...
i hope it's really not true, of what i'm thinking ...
i hope God can answer my prayer..

mei's bday bash was a blast.. .. she really enjoyed.. it looks more like a baby shower than 21st bday party.. with all the relative babies and all... it was at least more than 10 babies present...
so nice and happy..

i wish i can have my own.. =)

happy birthday to shuyee!

my dream of a perfect family. except that child is not mine.. haha

here's Keira and Branson.. i just love this picture so much...


happy family!